theonion:

RACINE, WI—Touting the pest control product’s effectiveness at buying extra time for squeamish consumers, Raid introduced a new line of boxes for placing over bugs until you muster up the emotional strength to kill them, sources confirmed Tuesday. “Raid’s new Bug Containment Unit can be used to confine spiders, cockroaches, beetles, and other pests while you summon the courage to smash them with a shoe or rolled-up newspaper,” said S. C. Johnson & Son COO Salman Amin, explaining how the 10-by-14-inch cardboard box immobilizes the insect as you pace back and forth, cringing at the thought of how gross crushing it will be, or fretting about accidentally missing and allowing it to escape. “The unit keeps the bug secure as you cycle between building up the nerve to finally kill it and then chickening out over and over again. The box also provides you enough time to convince your roommates or spouse to deal with it instead.” Raid officials went on to confirm the box includes adhesive strips around its opening for those who would prefer to trap the bug and then leave it there indefinitely to suffocate or starve to death.

speak

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s