what i want to see in the x-files season 11

nekocase:

  • scully becomes two whole feet taller and no explanation is offered as to why
  • the writer’s room consists of 13 women and one genderless and non-human entity plucked straight from a bog in louisiana
  • at some point within the series fox mulder must disarm some kind of highly destructive device by learning how to use the service known as venmo
  • agent doggett returns with an elderly black labrador companion who adds nothing to the plot but who becomes scully’s new friend
  • monica reyes is free and also so so gay
  • scully is or is not wearing a wig but regardlessly her hair is a light shade of lavender
  • mulder develops a liking for strange hats
  • scully purchases a prius with a built-in navigation system
  • we see at least one cooking disaster. at least one
  • mulder starts a group text with his cryptid friends but unfortunately the mothman has an android while everyone else has iphones so they can’t all just imessage
  • william is there and throughout the series he only wears salmon-colored shorts
  • chris carter makes a cameo as Old Man Yells At Cloud
  • rob bowman directs again
  • scully is given an opportunity to subdue many evil spirits but only through her singing voice, and as a result, mulder must pester her into singing while she insists that she absolutely will not
  • more bigfoot titties
  • scully gifts mulder an ugly tie for his birthday, complete with a note that says “just like old times!” and for the rest of the episode mulder weeps, as does the audience, while clutching it
  • at least once per episode mulder must call “dagOO?
  • mulder and scully have a dinner party and it goes horribly
  • an investigation is derailed by an inability to understand teen lingo
  • mulder wears the darkness falls jacket and no explanation is offered as to why, especially given that it’s summer
  • agent einstein and agent miller disappear. mulder considers deeming it an x-file but scully says don’t bother
  • we watch mulder and scully sweatily garden for no plot purpose whatsoever even though we all know that’s going to be the best part of the whole episode
  • it has an actual real ending that isn’t fake 
  • skinner decides to brighten up his office by placing a fun unicorn poster over the picture of the president